I know I’m always talking about women and saying nasty shit about them, but I don’t seriously want them to be any different. If they weren’t so bitchy, annoying, and nitpicky it wouldn’t feel nearly as good when you finally get that bitch in bed and have her screaming, “Please fuck my little pussy, sir!”

If she didn’t piss you off it wouldn’t be nearly so much fun to smack her naked ass and have her love you for it. The vengeful little bitch.

Reminds me of Adam and Amanda. Those two must have a hell of a relationship, from what I’ve seen of it. (Not that I’ve seen much.)

They were living together in a place just off Terry Road. Both of them worked up at the Circular warehouse. She’d been working there about three years and he’d been there for a couple months. I was working there because my freelance business had gone sideways and I was still under the illusion I was mentally and emotionally stable enough for regular employment.

Anyway. Adam and I picked together in one section of the warehouse most days. That’s where you take a cart out among all the rows and “pick” the items customers have ordered, and from there you hand them off to the packers, who pack them for shipping.

I’d see Amanda now and then, but not on an everyday basis because she was usually working in MAC’s section.

Adam’s what you might call a pugnacious type, but he’s got a heart of gold if you’re on his good side. Kind of guy who puts up an aggressive front — which isn’t a front, mind you, because he’s a few years younger than me and he’s been in more fights than I’ve ever been. But you get to know the guy and there’s real pain there. Granted, you wanna take it easy when he’s in his bad moods, which are easy enough to spot because he’ll start punching shoeboxes and shouting, “I don’t wanna be here!” while walking down the rows.

(Which if you’ve ever done warehouse work, “I don’t wanna be here!” becomes pretty much a grinding constant at the root of your soul.)

But anyway. Adam’s only twenty-one and he’s been clean off meth for two years. Which tells you a whole lot about the man’s strength as a human being, as well as how much shit he must’ve gone through to get hooked on and clean from meth by the time he was nineteen years old.

And they tell you this world has an equal fucking playing field.

Anyway. The guy has some anger issues. Can only imagine what him and Amanda would get up to in bed together — not that I ever asked.

Even I have some sense of what’s acceptable.

But he’s not just an angry dude. I’m not the type to make friends with one-dimensional people. Once when we were bagging up some kits together — a whole group of us, not just me and him — the conversation came around to depression. And I said something dismissive and one-sided (because that’s my own defense mechanism) to the effect that, “Depressed people just need to stop being fucking depressed.”

And Adam leaned his head back — not a hostile gesture, just a little something to make it clear what I’d said wasn’t cool — and this look opened up in his eyes. A look that said just as much as his words: “It ain’t that simple, man.”

Which shook me up a little, hearing that.

There’s more I could say about Adam, but you get the idea. And he was living with Amanda and met up with her on breaktimes.

I didn’t know Amanda all that well — not that I’m saying the only women I get to know are the ones I have sexual relationships with. She was younger than me, but older than Adam — twenty-three, maybe, or could be twenty-four. When I first met her, she’d speak with a super gruff voice, but then there came a day when (for whatever reason) she quite literally changed her tune on me. When I first met her it was a curt, gruff, don’t-fuck-with-me voice, but overnight it turned lovely and warm and inviting.

Maybe she just doesn’t like strangers.

While Adam was assertive as hell with everyone else (some would say aggressive), he was the opposite with Amanda. For example: he’d hang around the time clock at the end of the day so the two of them could clock out together, and she’d chew him out if he wasn’t there. Little things like that.

Now, it’s not my place to psychoanalyze a grown man, but…

Anyway, there’s a phrase men use among themselves describing a man who won’t stand up to his girl. I’m not gonna use that phrase here, but…

And when a man won’t stand up to his girl and has obvious anger issues… well, let’s say I’m a little worried about him and the future of his relationships. This may be a good time to mention that Adam’s been arrested once in the time I’ve known him, and it definitely wasn’t the first time in his life.

So after a couple months there comes a day when Adam doesn’t show up to work. And I’m out picking, same as usual, don’t really think anything of it, when who shows up but Eric. Now, Eric and Adam are closer to each other than either one of them is to me — because I keep my distance from people — but all three of us are friends. Eric asks me, “You hear about Adam and Amanda?”

I shake my head.

Eric says, “They broke up and Amanda kicked him out of her apartment. He’s moving back into his mom’s trailer, is why he’s not at work today.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is it for real this time?”

Eric shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not. Last time they broke up they got back together two days later.”

“Those crazy fucks.”

“You know what’s gonna happen, right?”


“She gonna fuck some dude to make him jealous and then they’re gonna get back together.”

“Same old story.”

“Did you know Veronica over in MAC wants to fuck Amanda?”

(Now, this was news indeed. There wasn’t a man in the whole Circular warehouse who didn’t want a piece of Veronica’s sweet ass. Scuttlebutt was that she’d worked as a stripper at some point, and I always sorta got the vibe she turned tricks on the side. Which I’ve always sorta thought was super hot, even if I’ve never been to a stripclub and I’d never pay for it — directly, at least.)

“I didn’t know Veronica liked girls.”

Eric shrugged. “Neither did I. Neither did anybody!”

“What Adam needs to do when he gets back together with Amanda is record her and Veronica fucking and upload it to PornHub,” I say. “Could make some decent scratch that way.”

“I dunno, man, their relationship is so fucked. I tell Adam he needs to drop the bitch. He’s young, man, he don’t need to get wrapped up in no relationship. Especially not with her.”

“Why especially not with her?”

“Because she loves tormenting that motherfucker. And you know what a temper he’s got, they keep this up and one day he’s gonna end up putting hands on the bitch, maybe even hurt her seriously, and maybe even…”

Eric shrugged, a pained smile on his face.

“Oh fuck…” I said.

“And another thing. She hits him, man. You know that?”

Anyway, Adam and Amanda were back together by the time I saw them again the next week.

And like I told you, I don’t know Amanda all that well. Even if she did grab my ass that one time while I was walking out of work.

Granted, I don’t know for sure that it was her. She was walking with Adam at the time, about half a step behind me, so it could’ve been Adam who did it. But I don’t think it was.

Then there was the time I was hanging out with the two of them at another buddy’s place. We were drinking a little and smoking a little, so it’s all a little hazy. But she kept looking over at me a little too often. I didn’t think much of it and I certainly never made a move on her — I’m not the kind of guy who would ever make a move on my bro’s girl, even if she is giving me the look.

But I do know how to read a room.

Last I heard the two of them are broken up for good. Adam’s been back at his mom’s place for a solid month now.

And Amanda’s been posting selfies on Facebook all the time, losing weight and making a big deal out of how confident and empowered she’s feeling.

And we all know what that means.

Last time I saw Adam he told me he hasn’t been hanging out with Eric anymore lately. He said, “He tried to fuck Amanda.”

And that’s not cool.

Who knows when and if Adam and Amanda are getting back together? But I’m definitely not gonna make a move on her.

I may not have many principles in this life. But I’ll be God damned if I’ll be a revenge fuck for my bro’s ex girl.




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